I have observed among my peers the need to force their child into adulthood. Now this might be fine if the subject of topic were an actual adult who seemed unwilling to fly, but as it turns out it is an actual child; some as young as three years of age!
I can understand the rationale, really I can, but here’s the thing – they are kids. One does not have to force a boy to be a man, or a girl to do a woman’s task, they will learn in time, primarily from observing the adults in their life. If you truly want to teach your child how to be an adult, be an adult yourself. Work along side them instead of sitting idle while they do chores.
Yes, a child should help around the house as it is their house as well, but they should not be an adult substitute. My son, helps his father mow the grass. Everyone participates in laundry and dishes and even the trash. Working as a unit, as a team, alleviates tension and creates a sense of pride and belonging (even when the aid is given grudgingly).
I was spoiled as a child, not a bratty materialistic spoiled, but through love. My parents allowed me to enjoy my imagination and my youth. When I left home to be a young wife I knew who I wanted to be, not through experience, but through observing the world. I figured out how to clean a bathroom, budget the paycheck, and plan family meals as all adults do – through trial and error. Because I was allowed to be a child and discover the world at my own pace, I felt confident in my ability to navigate this crazy world.
There is no need to force “bills” upon a child, they will learn what that is about soon enough. Through allowance, or various gifts of money, a kid will develop a sense of budget and the ability to save, all without car payments or rent before they’ve even completed high school.
I guess my point is…adulthood comes to us all. It does not need to be introduced to children, or forced upon them…it comes on its own. Nobody is ever prepared for the brutality of the world – the stress that bends the back and crushes the spirit. Their days of whimsy are numbered, but they will spend decades as a slave to the system. These fleeting years should be spent in establishing a sense of safety and trust, not stealing their joy and stressing them beyond their years.
Lead by example.
Work side by side.
Feed the imagination.