It has been a week and a half since I sat down to write; prior to that, two weeks went by before I caressed the keyboard. Neither was due to a lack of desire but more a lack of time.
Time is such a precious commodity and yet all too often we give it away in areas that are meaningless or far less valuable than what we pay, leaving our spirit bank stretched thin.
I love my jobs. The people I work with and meet keep me smiling on most days. But, like any job, there is a certain amount of weight they place upon my spirit that eventually can leave me feeling depleted, stressed, and just overall fatigued. These jobs extend beyond the payed positions into the various deeds we carry out around the house and for the roles in our life – mother, friend, daughter, spouse, pet owner, ect. Each role, no matter how enjoyable takes energy and time, and thus, if you’re not careful, you forget the one role that is extremely important to tend to – self.
When self-distancing and isolation measures first began I found time was in abundance. It was a wonderful pause in the routine of rushing about from one errand to the next. I was able to read, take a nap, go on walks, and write, all while still accomplishing so many of my roles. In fact, not only did I have time to take care of me and the things I wanted to do, but I achieved my life roles with optimum ability – the house was cleaner, I was preparing two meals a day, spending quality time with those closest to me, and still doing my paid positions as well.
And then it all fell apart.
Little by little, I transitioned my self time into task time or deposited time into empty products.
Instead of writing in the quiet of the morning, I binged watched shows on my tablet. Instead of walks, I sat at the table giving a list of excuses why I couldn’t go. Instead of quality time with my family, I scrolled through FaceBook or some phone app. Instead of stepping away from the paying jobs and various projects, my brain didn’t shut it off.
This didn’t happen overnight, it was a gradual buildup of time theft. The intruder was so stealthy that I never even knew it was there until I had reached the bottom of my coffer.
I no longer felt relaxed and revitalized but stressed and tired. I didn’t understand it. Didn’t like it.
I WANTED MY TIME BACK!!!
You make a plan. You write it down. You DO it.
So today – my one day off in two back to back six-day work weeks and on the heels of a power trip to Pennsylvania to move my daughter in for school – I stop making excuses and putting my desires last. I unapologetically make me a priority.
I was able to accomplish so much back in spring because I felt at peace and rejuvenated because for the first time in a long time I took care of my needs and self. The close down of the world allowed me to live and practice my priorities, putting what mattered most to me first and all the other “stuff” in its rightful place.
The best way to ensure this happens is to write it down, verbalize your goals. Just as you write down doctor’s appointments or set an alarm to wake up, I need to ensure that I schedule me time and then adhere to it just as I would any other scheduled event.
Though It may seem that this is just one more demand on the 24-hours we are given, I now know that it will actually provide me with the fuel needed to conduct all those other demands and do it with all the quality that I desire to put into it.
Whatever your passions are, whatever you deem needed for your spirit’s health, make sure to invest time into it. It is a deposit that will reap bountiful rewards. But just like a bank account, you can’t keep taking out and not putting anything back in or you will be bankrupt.
There is more to life than work. Make time to discover this beautiful world, yourself, and those you love.
– Pax tibi