McDonald’s and Wal~Mart Pharmacy team up to deliver prescriptions faster – just don’t expect your order to be right.

(the contents of this write up are strictly satirical; no union has been made between these companies at this time)

Patients are not practicing patience while waiting for their prescriptions to be filled.

Apparently, customers want their prescriptions filled with the rapidity that McDonald’s serves up a cheeseburger.

If you don’t mind ketchup on that plain cheeseburger or receiving a fillet-o-fish instead of a big mac, then you wont mind if you get ibuprofen instead of oxycodone.

Don’t worry, though, they’ll correct the mistake with extra fries – over salted and dumped into the takeout bag just the way you like it.


Though the pharmacy staff at Wal~Mart strive to ensure that no mix-ups of medication occur, the forced retail mindset of the company has the highly stressful and mentally exhausting job of pharmaceutical dispensing ran like a fast food restaurant. They demand their employees to move faster in order to ensure that all prescriptions are ready to to go when the customer wants it. Though Wal~Mart claims this tactic is to meet customer satisfaction, the bottom line is it makes money. The more customers pushed through in a day, the more money they bring in.

However, when it comes to medicine, it is not just a matter of stocking the shelves or flipping a burger. It takes time.

The dispensing of medication requires focus, multiple check points, and a good deal of interaction with outside sources – such as insurance companies, doctor’s offices, and other pharmacies. Certain drugs must be counted and checked by three other people before being released to the patient. There is time given to counseling the customer to answer questions, ensure they understand the proper use of what they are receiving,, and looking for possible drug interactions.

If a mistake is made in the pharmacy it is more than an unhappy diner, but the possibility of death.

Customers and companies need to cease their thinking that faster is better. It simply is not applicable in every case. Yes, time is valuable to us all, but life is even more valuable.

Not every meal should be fast food. Sometimes one needs a finely cooked steak, and that, my friends, takes time.


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